i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
