Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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