My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
