lets start a swedish sibling band together
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He passed out mid-signature
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
