I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
