He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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