He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
