wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
