We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
