okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
