Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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