You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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