Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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