Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
