I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we made out on top of his cat.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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