I think scott just propositioned me for sex
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
