babies were throwing up all over the place
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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