i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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