Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
