Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
