isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
