Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
