I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
