do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
