You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She's the barista slut.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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