It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
True strength comes from lack of pants
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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