I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
