they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
