dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
