At least make sure they are 18
Why
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
