ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
