I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just cut my nipple shaving
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
