i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
