i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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