I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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