this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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