it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
