It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
