I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
