There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
