Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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