if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I want to make a zoo with you.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
