If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
