If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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