considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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