the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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