i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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