1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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