And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
