she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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