Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
